Mommy

Tonight is one of those times I wish I could better keep track of my things...I love to take pictures of my boys, because I love to look at the pictures of my boys. My camera is hiding somewhere in my home with my phone tonight, so we will all have to close our eyes and imagine the huge smile on Lincoln's face while he jumps on his new "green trampoline" that his uncle John gave him. He loves it, and loves to jump "high". There has been a whole lot of "mommy, watch this" going on. I also wanted to capture our volleyball practice. Lincoln loves volleyball, and he holds his hands just right to "bump" the ball. You also need to close your eyes and imagine Oliver's huge grin when Lincoln walks into the room and makes his squawking noise that makes Oliver laugh and literally light up. Oliver is sitting on his own now, so try to imagine.
Because there will be no pictures today, I want to record something that has been on my mind lately. After several months, I was talking to a friend on the phone just to catch up. She asked me what I was up to, and I replied almost annoyed...well, I just pulled out another loaf of zucchini bread. I've made at least a dozen loaves in the last two weeks. She said, you know Brynley, those are some of my favorite days. The days where I don't HAVE to be anywhere and "I can really be a mom"...
I really have enjoyed my new life with a toddler who can use words. It has been life changing for both of us. There is still a lot of guessing, but it's so rewarding to get a small look into his thoughts and the way he is processing the world. There is one word which precedes each and every sentence, phrase or word in Lincoln's life. The word is Mommy. Mommy, watch this, Mommy, 'mere, Mommy Oliver rolled over, Mommy, milk, Mommy kitty cat go? Mommy, me jump high, Mommy, no night night, Mommy, blanket, Mommy, red car, Mommy, One two three four etc. etc. etc.
I was working in the kitchen one afternoon, and Lincoln was playing with blocks in the next room, talking to himself, and including me in every phrase. I was not paying much attention, until his words became whiny. He continued to repeat Mommy... Mommy...Mommy. I hadn't responded to him in a few minutes, but in my mind, I was a bit irritated that he kept whining my name.  Before I responded to him, I recognized my thoughts. I had a humbling insight. As I stopped to ponder for just a few seconds, I recognized what an amazing title I had. Mommy. I am this little boy's mommy. I will ALWAYS be his mommy. Right now in his short life, he wants to tell his mommy everything. He wants to tell ME everything that comes across his mind. I have no idea what it is like to have a 3 year old, a 13 year old or a 23 year old, but I know that my 2 year old wants to tell me his thoughts...his every thought. I realized that in just a few short years, I may be begging him to tell me what is on his mind. To tell me what he sees, to tell me what he knows, to tell me how he sees the world. I realized it is probably important that his Mommy takes some time to listen now, so he knows that she wants to listen to him... and she loves to be called Mommy.
I learned I need to be a better listener, and I learned I need to do a better job appreciating my mundane days, with my two little boys who have given me the opportunity to have the title of Mommy. It is such a blessing to me to be able to have so many days, where "I can really be a mom".

A talk Sheri Dew gave a decade before I was a mother, helps me understand my role as a Mommy.
Motherhood is more than bearing children. … It is the essence of who we are as women.- Sheri Dew