July, 2017 The month that wasn't a long month, but 1 really long day

There is so much to say about July. It is certainly a month I will never forget! It started...for a day just like any other month. We met Amy at Scheels and rode the Ferris Wheel, and saw all there is to see at a giant sporting goods store. My cousin Rachel called and asked to stay with us for 4 days. She is so fun to have around. The kids took to her quickly! Well, Thomas took a couple of days to warm up, but by the time she left, he went around the house looking for her. Turns out, having her come was a huge blessing!

We had another very successful 4th of July. The kids start looking forward to this holiday the day after Christmas. We made tie die shirts for the parade, and got all the bells and whistles for bikes, scooters and wagons to be in the parade.

Oliver refuses to learn to ride a bike, so he took the scooter. He loved being in the parade and picking up all the candy in the road that those before him had left. Lincoln was just anxious to show everyone his new bike and to be fast!

We decorated the wagon for Thomas to ride in, but he insisted on pulling his own wagon. And he made it the entire distance of the parade route!

That night we headed to South Weber and celebrated my Grandma's 90th birthday. It's always fun to get together with my Poll cousins.I saw them so much growing up, now it's usually just on the 4th of July and Christmas. And there are so many of us, that it's hard to find time to talk to more than one or two. This year was no exception. We had a great time together! 

We worked hard to have our living room ready for carpet on the 5th. I did a lot of late night painting so we could have it installed. And just like a year ago when we got new carpet downstairs, the kids loved it! They even loved the scraps! 

My dad hadn't been feeling well for the last couple of days, and my mom had taken him in for some tests on Monday the 3rd. All of his labs came back great...Though it was clear to my mom, that something was wrong. His nurse instructed my mom to take him to the Emergency Room on Wednesday the 5th. They spent the day waiting, and getting tests and an MRI and trying to rule things out. It was about 5:00 that evening that I got the phone call that the cancer my dad had been fighting and beating had spread to his brain. They admitted him back to Huntsman so he could be given options on what to do next. My siblings met my parents up there as soon as we could and we had a long exhausting night together. We heard from a bunch of doctors and we were told that my dad's oncologist would be in in the morning to give us options. We ended the night with a telephone conversation with my dad's family doctor who told us he anticipated my dad would have 1- 2 weeks left to live. We ended the night with a lot of tears. We met back up at the hospital the next morning at 7:30 to see just what the oncologist might have to say. Well, we were there, but he never came. We finally got a phone call from the oncologist who told us the 2 options were to do our best to help my dad be comfortable with hospice or try radiation which my prolong the inevitable for a couple of weeks. After more waiting, a radiologist came in and gave us great hope! She explained that my dad was a prime candidate for radiology treatment and it could extend his life for a few months without lessening his quality of life! We left the hospital excited for that possibility. My dad was anxious to get home and get ready for radiology 4 days later. When they pulled up to the garage, something went awry and my dad had some sort of seizure. It was clear to my shaken up mother, that radiology was no longer an option. We decided to put my dad onto hospice and spend as much time together as we could over the next as many days as we had.

I didn't get a whole lot of pictures of what happened, nor do I have words to express and describe events, feelings, emotions and miracles that I was able to be a part of over the next 12 days when my dad's body finally quit working. 

There was a lot of cousin time! Kyle's family made it into town on Saturday and we did our best to keep noises downstairs so my dad could rest upstairs. We wanted to let him rest (and he did) But we also wanted to spend as much time with dad as we could. Somebody brought pearler beads and all of the grandkids spent hours designing these things.

There is always fun for everyone at Grandpa's house!

My dad has always been so good at ensuring that each grandchild felt so loved! They know he loves them!

Thomas was acting as a daredevil on the swing set. 

On Sunday we had a big family dinner and made some art with squirt guns. My dad made it out to the porch to watch from above. He didn't say anything, but never stopped smiling. 

During the next week, I saw my siblings a lot. They did puzzles, we ate food and did whatever we could to keep both of my parent's comfortable.

We had so many visitors over the next week. Some were very helpful and mindful to keep visits short. Everyone was kind, though many overstayed their welcome as we tried to balance giving care to my dad and entertaining his friends.  We also had the responsibility to keep my dad's siblings in the loop. We tried to email them daily with updates. 

For the next week, we took turns being by my dad's bedside. We were two deep at all times just in case anything happened. We also agreed that my mom needed to get a full night's sleep every night. So two of the us kids would stay the night and take shifts being awake to help keep my dad comfortable. I saw him every day from the Thursday he got home from the hospital until the following Friday. I had so many neighbors and friends that took my kids for so many different amounts of time. People were generous, kind, giving and supportive. When I was able to be home with my kids, I did my very best to give them my full attention and keep all of our minds occupied.
Our neighbors have had 2 giant oak trees that overhang into our driveway and yard. They got them cut down, and it was quite the event for 5 boys to watch!

On Friday the 14th, we took a break. Dean's mom had given us symphony tickets for our anniversary. We went up to Deer Valley and enjoyed music, nature, fresh air and a full rainbow. It truly was a breath of fresh air!

Saturday I spent with my family! That evening we went to Judy's neighborhood party. The kids helped with the fairy garden, and we ate good food, and Oliver even went down a giant water slide!

It was my "turn" to be by my dad on Monday. I got there around 10 and Kyle was just finishing his "shift". My dad did not seem to be doing well at all. Kyle sent a text out to the family with his current status. Would you know, it, but everyone ended up coming over. It was my siblings and a couple of in-laws. My dad was no longer a fall threat and we would just shift his position every couple of hours trying to keep him comfortable. So, Kyle went to Walmart and picked up a puzzle. They worked on the puzzle while I drafted an obituary. Four hours later, the puzzle was finished and my dad was still hanging on. We decided there wasn't much else any of us could do, so we left. I got home about 8:30 that evening. I went in and kissed my boys goodnight and decided to go for a quick bike ride. Just as I started, I got a call from Troy telling me it was time to return. My dad had waited for everyone to leave before he passed away. Dean and I went back to their home and spent the next several hours making plans, being together, laughing, crying and somehow, feeling very blessed. When I walked into my dad's room. My whole family was there. My dad's body was there, but he wasn't. I looked at him and held his hand and felt so calm. He seemed so much more peaceful than when I had left him a few hours earlier. My first thought was, "you did it dad!". And truly he had. He had done everything he was called to earth to do. I will ever be grateful that I got to watch his constant example of love and missionary work for almost 35 years. And this is my dad!

We watched as the morticians took his body. We made plans for the next couple of days and all went home around 1:30 Tuesday morning.

I was very nervous to "break the news" to my boys that their grandpa had passed away. We went to Burger King to have a happy morning together. I was impressed at how resilient these kids were! Lincoln cried a little, but said. "I'm so glad the cancer can't hurt his body anymore. Mom, did the cancer die too?" Then during breakfast, more interesting questions came. "If the baby in your belly has a heart beat, is the spirit already there? Because grandpa's spirit left when his heart stopped..." Smart kiddos I have.

My boys did fairly well at the long viewing. It was really long! I got there around 3:00 to help set up, and the line was out the door by 4:30, even though it didn't begin until 5. People waited for over 2 and a half hours to see my parents. Dean took the boys home after a few hours, as there was another long day awaiting. 

The funeral was hard for me. When my dad was in the hospital the first time, he expressed his wish to have all of his kids speak at his funeral. Then as we were all together a couple of weeks before he passed away, he repeated several times that same thing. I knew I would not be able to get through my part with my emotions in check, and I was right. But I did make it through. The boys were honorary pall bearers, and were anxious to help, although, I can't imagine they lightened anybody's load.

After the burial service, we got to take a limo ride to the Centerville church where lunch was awaiting us. I don't think is was safe, but it was memorable. After lunch it was back to my mom's house to start sorting through flowers, plants, memorabilia and encourage her to take a nap. 

It was just more than half-way through July when we buried my dad, but we didn't take much time to rest before the next adventure began.

Oliver picks up worms and bugs. I do all I can not to flip a lid or lose my lunch when he's touching worms.

It was so nice to have full days with my boys again. We had a couple fun days at sugarhouse park. One day they had so much fun playing in a huge puddle created by sprinklers, and then I remembered... 

Sugarhouse park actually has a river running through it. So we headed over there a couple of days later.

We rode our bikes to liberty park for lunch one day. I was so impressed at how well Lincoln did. It's an uphill ride the whole way home, but he did it without complaining once. (We did take a small slurpee break. Maybe more for me than him)

The following weekend we had a short girls weekend with my mom and my sisters. What is a girls weekend without a pedicure. 

Then off to the annual Poll Bear Lake trip! The weather, the beach, the water, the house, the kids, the stars, the moon, the etc. etc. etc. was perfect!!!

We had a full beach day, and another day on the grass playing games. It was refreshing to say the least. I'm grateful to be a Poll!